"Leaders who fail to grasp the importance of confrontation often fail to grasp the importance of leadership."
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Turning Performance Reviews Into Leadership Growth: A Collaborative Approach
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Adam Kreek
The Problem With Traditional Performance Reviews
Performance reviews often feel like a grading exercise rather than a growth conversation. Employees leave these meetings feeling judged instead of empowered. Leaders walk away frustrated by gaps in perception and misaligned expectations.
The issue? One-directional feedback.
Too often, leaders evaluate employees without inviting feedback on their own leadership. This creates a power imbalance that limits growth and weakens trust.
To turn performance reviews into leadership development opportunities, leaders must shift their approach.
A Better Approach: The Leadership Growth Model
Step 1: Move From "Grading" to "Growth Conversations"
Instead of treating reviews as a top-down assessment, make them a two-way discussion.
Ask both yourself and your employee to answer these three questions:
- You get the best of me when…
- You get the worst of me when…
- What I need from you is…
By exchanging responses, both sides gain insight into what’s working, what’s not, and how to improve.
Step 2: Clarify Authority and Delegation
One major source of frustration in leadership is unclear decision-making boundaries. Employees feel either micromanaged or unsupported when they don’t know which decisions they own and which require approval.
Use a decision matrix to define three categories:
- Decisions the employee makes independently
- Decisions requiring consultation before action
- Decisions requiring final approval from leadership
This structure reduces misunderstandings and increases ownership.
Step 3: Use Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in Feedback
Performance feedback can easily feel like criticism if it’s not framed constructively. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) offers a way to give feedback that encourages dialogue rather than defensiveness.
Example: Traditional vs. NVC Feedback
- Traditional: "You rated yourself too high, and I think your self-awareness needs improvement."
- NVC Approach: "I noticed a difference between your self-assessment and mine. Can we explore why we see things differently and clarify expectations?"
This subtle shift turns critique into collaboration.
Step 4: Invite Employee Feedback on Your Leadership
If employees never get a chance to evaluate leadership, they will hesitate to share concerns. This leads to bottled-up frustrations that affect morale and performance.
To model growth-oriented leadership, ask:
- What leadership behaviors help you succeed?
- Where do my leadership habits get in the way?
- What could I do differently to help us work better together?
When employees see leaders open to feedback, they feel more valued and engaged.
Key Takeaways for Better Performance Reviews
- Make feedback two-way – Leaders should be evaluated just as much as employees.
- Clarify decision-making authority – Define who owns what to reduce friction.
- Use NVC for feedback – Frame conversations in a way that encourages discussion, not defensiveness.
- Encourage leadership self-reflection – Seek regular input from employees to improve leadership effectiveness.
Performance reviews should not be a one-way street. They should be a shared process that strengthens leadership, trust, and team performance.
Final Thought: Is Your Leadership Open to Growth?
A leader’s job is not just to evaluate performance but to create an environment of continuous learning.
Are your reviews fostering trust and development, or are they reinforcing hierarchy and control?
The most effective leaders invite feedback, build collaboration, and create a culture of growth.
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Adam Kreek is on a mission to positively impact organizational cultures and leaders who make things happen.
Kreek is an Executive Business Coach who lives in Victoria, BC, near Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, and Seattle, Washington, USA, in the Pacific Northwest. He works with clients globally, often travelling to California in the San Francisco Bay Area, Atlanta, Georgia, Toronto, Ontario and Montreal, Quebec. He is an Olympic Gold Medalist, a storied adventurer and a father.
He authored the bestselling business book, The Responsibility Ethic: 12 Strategies Exceptional People Use to Do the Work and Make Success Happen.
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