Harness the Power of Loneliness

loneliness |ˈloʊnlin1s|

A complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation or lack of companionship

How do you handle your feelings of loneliness?

I was reminded of the power of loneliness when I once picked up a hitchhiker in northern Saskatchewan.

After weeks of solo travel, delivering leadership training and coaching in Canada's north, I was driving on a snowy highway through the bleak birch trees of northern Saskatchewan. I had spent a couple hours driving down a desolate highway and felt lonely. That's when I saw a young Cree man on the side of the road with his thumb out. He had baggy, ripped jeans, a worn winter jacket and a flat-brimmed baseball cap. I picked him up.

"Where you headed?" I asked.
"Air Ronge," he said.
"Where you coming from?" I asked.
"Mon-trow lake" he drawled. "I'd been walking for the last 2 hours. I once walked for 5 hours before someone picked me up."

The kid was from the Montreal Lake Indian Reserve. We spoke about a giant timber wolf he saw recently, the hunting traps his uncle maintains, and the drunk drivers who normally stop to give him a lift. Eventually, he explained that he was on his way to the village of Air Ronge to visit his girlfriend. It was a surprise visit, and she would be excited to see him. She is pregnant with his baby.

"That's a big responsibility," I said. "Are you getting good tips from friends and family?"
"Yeah," he said. "Everybody's got advice for me. Especially the women. I gotta finish my grade 10 school and get a job."
"Yes." I agreed, thinking about my new son. "Make money and provide for your family. That's what a dad has to do."
"My girlfriend says I have a big heart," he said. "That's why she stays with me."
He did have a big heart.

I dropped him off at his destination, a small, pre-fab apartment building, and gave him a pair of red mittens. He thanked me and walked inside.

Periods of solitude can be healthy. However, extended loneliness can be poison if it causes us to alienate ourselves from others. Instead, we must acknowledge our feelings of loneliness. We can then channel our emotions and use them mindfully. Loneliness is an opportunity to connect meaningfully with others. Like most emotions we experience in life, loneliness itself is neither positive nor negative but merely an indicator to take action to maintain our equilibrium.

The Final Questions

Could you use your feelings of loneliness more effectively?

Do you allow feelings of loneliness to motivate connection with others?

Adam delivers authentic keynotes, workshops and seminars for corporate, government and not-for-profit organizations worldwide.  Please contact us for information about our offerings.

Other popular blog posts:

Discover the ViDA Values Framework, a structured approach to defining and living your core values. Read this

After 18 years and thousands of speeches, here’s what Kreek has learned about motivating any audience—without the fluff. Check it out

Most people set goals the wrong way—here’s how CLEAR goals are better than SMART goals, and how they can help you achieve more, with less frustration. Learn more